Being a Mummy is a learning curve. None of us are perfect mothers, we are all just doing what we can do, our very best. But throughout our years raising kids, even though we may think we have mastered it, we do come face to face with something, and realise, we actually haven't, we're still only learning.. no matter how old the children are.
Above is a picture of my youngest daughter - Lexie-Anna.
When she was only a baby, she was such a mummy's girl, she was overly clingy over me, I couldn't do very much during the days, as I was constantly having to carry her around, and off course, me being me, I didn't invest in a sling, which lead to, sore arms and a broken back - o.k maybe a bit of over exaggeration there, but you get the picture right?
With Lexie-Anna being that clingy over me, I quickly learned that I wasn't getting to spend an awful lot of time with Lacey-Beth (my eldest daughter) and she was starting to feel a little bit pushed out maybe? Despite how she may or may not have been feeling, she wasn't getting any one to one time with mummy, so it was time I started giving her that, and once a week, every single week from then, we set one day aside, which was all about Lacey-Beth.
We had girly time, she got one to one time with her Mummy, and we did lots of fun, exciting things each week, which she loved, and she started looking forward to them each week, she still to this does, nearly two years later.
However, two years has went by, Lexie-Anna has gotten older, she's now a bossy and demanding toddler, and everyone that know's her, know's that she is now no longer a mummy's girl, she's her daddy's left hip, and will go nowhere without her daddy, and she hates to see him go anywhere, without her.
This morning, we woke up, and I was feeling a bit unwell. Lacey-Beth had slept over at her Nanny's house the night before, we were supposed to pick her up, but due to feeling how I was, I arranged for my Mum to drop her home later in the day. So, it was just Lexie-Anna and myself together all of today. We stayed in bed pretty much most of the day watching movies, and she told me little stories about her time in Sunday School, it was lovely.
And then I realised it.. that for the past two years, I've been giving Lacey-Beth one to one time, afraid that she may be getting pushed out due to her little sister coming along, that I've been neglecting Lexie-Anna of one to one time too.
I know that during the day whilst Lacey-Beth is at school, that Lexie-Anna will have me all to herself, but usually i'm using that time to catch up on the mountains of laundry I have sitting about, or the ironing pile that has been gathering up for the past week or two. The breakfast dishes are needing washed, the beds are needing changed, the hoovering needs done.. there's always something, before we head off to my Mum's before collecting Lacey-Beth from school, and then the rest of the days are spent running about after Lacey-Beth, dropping her off to dance class, to girls brigade, kidzone.. any clubs she has on, that by the time I do actually get sitting down with Lexie, i'm just physically exhausted. that we rush through dinner, get baths sorted, and get into bed.
But she is growing up so fast too, and although I love getting that one to one time with Lacey-Beth, and hearing about all the excitement she's got up to in her weeks at school, and clubs, catching glimpses of her dance moves she's learned, or just hearing about her latest crush, her latest inventions that she's come up with, or the latest drama she's having, I also need to make time to have some of that one to one time with Lexie-Anna, who although spends all her time with me, still builds up exciting wee stories in her head that she wants to tell me all about, who still needs some time to Mummy on her own also. I hadn't realised it before, because she was so young.. but this morning, was so nice just getting her to myself for a few hours, and seeing what exciting things she builds up and remembers about in her weeks.
Parenting is a learning curve for us all.. but it's what make us, who we are, and make our children who they are.